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BEWARE WHEN YOU MARRIAGE

In India, one married man commits suicide every nine minutes. Of the total 1,25,017 cases of suicide in 2008, married men alone accounted for 57,639. While the number of women taking the extreme step did not lag far behind, men appeared more vulnerable to mounting social and economic pressures. In the case of women, the trigger was more emotional and personal.

The overall male-female ratio of suicide victims for the year 2008 was 64:36, according to the latest data of the National Crime Record Bureau (NCRB). The general scene is much grimmer.

Suicides in 2008 registered a decadal growth of 19.4% compared to 1998, the figures say. They also reveal a year-on-year rise of 1.9% compared to the 2007 numbers —1,22,637.

The overall increase in cases involving women was 355 in two years while it was 2,187 among men. The increase in suicide among men is six times more than that of women. “Every nine minutes a married man is committing suicide in India. Are we ignoring our men too much or burdening them with too many responsibilities?” said Virag Dhulia of the Save Family Foundation, an organisation fighting for harassed husbands.

The data, however, may not be revealing the full picture. The number of girls/women attempting suicide is much higher than that of boys/men. But the suicide rate is higher among the latter, says clinical psychologist and family therapist, Dr Shelja Sen.

“The intensity of depression among women or adolescent girls is different from boys and men. Attempting to commit suicide often provides relief from depression among females, it doesn’t happen the same way with men. So when they attempt suicide, it is more serious and harsh, and results in death,” she says.

The NCRB data showed youngsters were more susceptible to suicides. Youths in the age group 15-29 years (35.7%) and lower middle-aged people in 30-44 age group (34.8%) were the prime groups taking the extreme step.

Family problems (23.8%) and illness (21.9%) were found to be the major causes of suicides besides love affairs (3.0%), bankruptcy, dowry dispute and poverty (2.4% each) being other reasons. In fact, suicides due to illness, drug abuse/addiction and poverty have shown an increasing trend.

Family problems, failure in examination and illness were driving children to the brink. There were 2,381 cases in this category. Family problems have also driven 10,027 youths (15-29 years), 11,363 lower middle-aged people (30-44 years) and 6,143 upper middle-aged persons (45-59 years) to commit suicide. Suicides among senior citizens were mainly due to illness.

The proportion of female victims was comparatively more under the heads dowry dispute (98.1%), illegitimate pregnancy (91.6%), physical abuse (rape, incest, etc) (72.8%), barrenness/impotency (not having children) (65.5%), divorce (62.2%),cancellation/non-settlement of marriage (53.5%) and suspected/illicit relation (50.8%).

Housewives (24,367) accounted for 54.8% of female victims and nearly 19.5% of total victims committing suicides. It was observed that 70.3% of the suicide victims in both categories were married.

Among bigger cities, the four metros — Bengaluru (2,396), Chennai (1,309), Mumbai (1,111) and Delhi (1,107) — reported higher number of suicides. In fact, these four cities put together accounted for almost 45% of the total suicides reported from 35 cities, even though cases in Mumbai had declined marginally.

so beware when u marriage friends..................

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"A touching love story that 'll make u cry"

10th Grade:-

       As I sat there in English class,

       I stared at the girl next to me.

       She was my so called 'best friend'.

       I stared at her long, silky hair,

       and wished she was mine.

       But she didn't notice me like that,

       and I knew it.

       After class,

       she walked up to me and asked me for

       the notes she had missed the day before.

       I handed them to her.She said 'thanks'

       and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

       I want to tell her, I want her to know

       that I don't want to be just friends,

       I love her but I'm just too shy,

       and I don't know why.

11th grade:-

        The phone rang. On the other end,

        it was her. She was in tears,

        mumbling on and on about how

        her love had broke her heart.

        She asked me to come over

        because she didn't want to be alone, So I did.

        As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her

        soft eyes, wishing she was mine.

        After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,

        and three bags of chips,

        she decided to go home.

        She looked at me, said 'thanks'

        and gave me a kiss

        on the cheek..I want to tell her,

        I want her to know that

        I don't want to be just friends,

        I love her but I'm just too shy,

        and I don't know why.

Senior year:-

        One fine day she walked to my locker.

        "My date is sick" she said,

        "hes not gonna go" well,

        I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,

        we made a promise that

        if neither of us had dates,

        we would go together just as 'best friends'.

        So we did.

        That night, after everything was over,

        I was standing at her front door step.

        I stared at her as She smiled at me

        and stared at me with her crystal eyes.

        Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"

        and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

        I want to tell her,

        I want her to know

        that I don't want to be just friends,

        I love her but I'm just too shy,

        and I don't know why.

Graduation:-

        A day passed, then a week, then a month.

        Before I could blink, it was graduation day.

        I watched as her perfect body

        floated like an angel

        up on stage to get her diploma.

        I wanted her to be mine-but

        she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

        Before everyone went home,

        she came to me in her smock and hat,

        and cried as I hugged her.

        Then she lifted her head from my shoulder

        and said- 'you're my best friend,

        thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

        I want to tell her,

        I want her to know

        that I don't want to be just friends,

        I love her but I'm just too shy,

        and I don't know why.

Marriage:-

        Now I sit in the pews of the church.

        That girl is getting married now.

        and drive off to her new life,

        married to another man.

        I wanted her to be mine,

        but she didn't see me like that,

        and I knew it.

        But before she drove away,

        she came to me and said 'you came !'.

        She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.

        I want to tell her,

        I want her to know

        that I don't want to be just friends,

        I love her but I'm just too shy,

        and I don't know why.

Death:-

        Years passed, I looked down at the coffin

        of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.

        At the service, they read a diary entry

        she had wrote in her high school years.

        This is what it read:

        'I stare at him wishing he was mine,

        but he doesn't notice me like that,

        and I know it.

        I want to tell him,

        I want him to know that

        I don't want to be just friends,

        I love him but I'm just too shy,

        and I don't know why.

        I wish he would tell me he loved me !

        .........'I wish I did too...'

        I thought to my self, and I cried.

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I LOVE YOU

A Sad Love Story telling us not to be afraid of expressing our Feelings abd try to understand others feeling and their problems.

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend

Until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that

trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of

lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other friends . To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl...

"Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked.

"I can't"

"Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me.

"No... I am going to meet a friend...

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word 'love' only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you' before. To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days...200days... Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why...

Then one day...

Me: Um, Jin, I ...

Jin: What...don't drag, just say..

Me: I love you.

Jin: ......you....um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many...

Then one day came, my 19th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call I was disconned all my friends call just waiting for his call... But... lunch passed, dinner passed... and soon the sky was dark... he still didn't call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin...

Jin: Here...take this...

Again, he handed me a little doll.

Me: What's this?

Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.

Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?

Jin: Today? Huh?

I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted... "Wait..."

Jin: You have something to say?

Me: Tell me, tell me you love me...

Jin: What?!

Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.

"I don't want to say...that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else."

That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb... and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily... How could he.... I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me...

After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday

After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street... with another girl who was handing him a doll... He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll... I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he gave these to me... Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls...In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that... it's going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?

I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual...

Me: I don't need it. Jin: What....why...

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again!

I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.

"I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...

Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!! But he became a deaf and dumb person and ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then...

Honk~ Honk~

With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

"Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted... But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.

"Jin, move!" HONK~!! "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying.

That's how he went away from me. That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.

After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him... And after spending two months like a crazy person... I took out the dolls.

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days... when we were in love...

"One...two... three..." That was how... I started to count the dolls...

"Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..." It all ended with 485 dolls.

I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...

"I love you~, I love you~" I dropped the dolls, shocked.

"I....lo..ve...you??" I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

"I love you~ I love you~" It can't be! I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.

"I love you~"

"I love you~"

"I love you~"

Those words came out non-stop. I...love you... Why didn't I realize that....That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he love me this much... I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the one that I was missing so much.

"Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you.... Um... since I was too shy... If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you... everyday... till I die... Jo... I love you..."

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute...

For that... and for that reason... to me... it became courage... to live a beautiful life....

This Story telling us not to be afraid of expressing our Feelings to someone who is our life and

Try to understand others feeling and their problems before getting fire upon them with anger remember to break a heart a word is enough but to join it whole life is not enough.................................

Treat every relationship ( even its our blood relation.. MOM... Dad...Brother... Sister..)as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to Give.

Treat every moment as if it's the last day, then you'll know how to Treasure.

Treasure what you have right now, or else you may regret one day...

when u miss & love someone you will go thru everything that needs to be gone thru...just to keep this special person in your life. you will experience pain, tears, lust, hurt, a broken heart, u will feel that if u ever lose him/her you will not want to live anymore, before they walk out of your life you will rather take their steps so you can always step back to them, you cant imagine a world without this person, u cant trust anyone but yourself, you will do anything in order to have this person forever in your heart, you will cry yourself to sleep when you’ve been hurt, you’ll miss them all the time, you never stop smiling when u are with them, you’ll always remember that first and last kiss, you’ll dream of them close to u and wake up crying thinking that the dream was real, you’ll have butterflies in your tummy every time you think of them, you’ll have to lie just in case you lose them, you’ll always picture there smile and put it in a frame, you’ll weep for them if they feel pain, you’ll keep every moment with them in your heart so they will always b with you, you’ll do everything for them, you’ll die for them, you’ll live for them, SO REALLY ITS NOT WHO YOU LOVE ITS HOW TO LOVE...